Re: fake news and the SFBA newsletter

From: Wee, Kelly (kjw@merkle.baaqmd.gov-DeleteThis)
Date: Wed Aug 23 1995 - 14:12:18 PDT


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Date: Wed, 23 Aug 95 13:12:18 pst
From: kjw@merkle.baaqmd.gov-DeleteThis (Wee, Kelly)
Message-Id: <9507238092.AA809208738@merkle.baaqmd.gov-DeleteThis>
To: wind_talk@opus.hpl.hp.com-DeleteThis
Subject: Re: fake news and the SFBA newsletter


          
          Okay, Okay, OKAY!!!
          
          I regret re-opening an issue that is just beginning to die down.

          I am the doofi that submitted the infamous "Salt Ponds" article for
          inclusion in the SFBA Newsletter. It was an honest mistake.
          
          I had just returned from Portland (skunked 3, wind 1) when a friend
          informed me of all the dialogue. I admit I did loose alittle sleep
          over my mistake. I am neither a publisher nor a journalist. I is an
          Enginerd & boardhead. I know nothing of journalistic integrity, but
          am learning fast.
          
          Although I thought the contents of the article highly unlikely
          to happen, I submitted the article in an effort to make the SFBA
          newsletter a little more interesting. We, the SFBA core group, have
          been criticized for being too bureaucratic & dry (No fun). We are not
          a terribly creative group. We tend to be politicos that are most
          concerned about access. We do the minimum necessary to get by and
          still be able to get some sailing in. That is why we have solicited
          Mike Godsey articles and will soon be printing Bob Galvan's "Tuba
          Report" dated 8/8/95. (yes I did get his permission, the resulting
          delay will make it appear in the next newsletter.) In the past we
          have gotten positive feedback on self-rescues we printed from the
          Internet. I did not get permission from the authors but I did leave
          the names out to protect the innocent.
          
          I do not think an elaborate apology is necessary, I plan to submit the
          following for the next newsletter:
          
               Correction: The article "Salt Ponds Convert to Sailing Sites" in
               the last newsletter was a fictional story disguised as a real
               article. The article should have been identified as fictional.
               We apologize for any confusion the omission may have caused.
          
          With Luigi Semenzato's permission, I will submit "Salt Pond
          Windsurfing Deal Falls Through" for the next newsletter & indicate it
          as a fictional story. All the bickering aside, I think we can still
          make is a funny story for the rest of the membership.
          
          
          A Final Note:

          The SFBA is not some Omnipotent Entity that exists by its own will.
          It is made up a small group of boardheads, that for one reason or
          another, feel the need to help support & improve the sport they all
          enjoy so much. That is why, in the newsletter, we are attempting to
          make them known. We will be profiling the board of directors over the
          next several issues & I hope to get them all homepages on the net.
          
          The SFBA is what WE make it. If you want to contribute, you are very
          welcome. Whether it is $10 a year, an article (factual, or
          fictional) for the newsletter, or organizing a beach cleanup,

          YOU are welcome.
          
          We need more involvement not less. So please don't trash the
          organization for something a single DOOFI might do.
          
          Kelly Wee
          Gul.li.ble (gul'e-ble), adj. [gull, v.+ible], easily cheated or
          tricked;
          
          
          
          
          
          

______________________________ Reply Separator _________________________________
Subject: fake news and the SFBA newsletter
Author: wind_talk@opus.hpl.hp.com-DeleteThis at Internet
Date: 8/20/95 12:32 PM

OK folks,

I still have a faint hope that this is an elaborate and quite
effective joke at my expenses.

My copy of the SFBA newsletter, which I got yesterday, contains
a front-page article titled `Salt Ponds Convert to Sailing Sites.'
The article is a fake. I wrote it on 7/1 and sent it to this
mailing list. To give it a modicum of credibility, I pretended
it came from a respectable newspaper (the San Jose Mercury News),
which I don't even read.

If nobody else has seen this in their newsletter, then I have to
bow to a truly splendid joke. However, I doubt I am worthy of
so much attention, not to mention work. If it was indeed sent
to everybody, then I am very sorry.

In the latter case, I can suggest two courses of action to the SFBA:

1. slithering apologies. Here's a suggestion for the wording:

`We are sorry. The article `Salt Ponds etc.' in our August
newsletter was not published in the SJMN, as stated, but it
was a product of the fertile imagination of Luigi Semenzato.
We admit we are complete doofuses for reprinting an article
without first checking its source, and we apologize to all
our members, and in particular to Luigi Semenzato for using
his copyrighted material without permission.'

2. cover up. Here's a follow-up article which will put the
issue to rest.

>From the Union City Gazette, 8/20/1995

Salt Pond Windsurfing Deal Falls Through

Pacific Salt Company's plans for creating a windsurfing mecca at the
mineral evaporation ponds in Union City suffered a major blow today,
as Larry Falk, a researcher at the University of Santa Clara,
published a technical report declaring the ponds `environmentally
unsuitable for high-speed sailing activities.' Falk produced the
report after witnessing Jerome LaBlatte's attempt to break the world
sailing speed record at the site. LaBlatte sailed into a landing
flock of egrets, causing havoc and panic among them. Because of the
stress, the flock apparently moved out of the ponds before they could
feed properly. In a possibly related development, several Napa Valley
wineries have reported to local authorities that a large number of
egrets are eating their grapes.

Martin Fisher of the Pacific Salt Company stated he is `surprised and
disappointed by the finding, especially considering we had financed
Falk's research. Scientists in such positions should be a bit more
sensible about their results.'

Lablatte was also disappointed, but admitted that `it wasn't going to
work anyhow. We windsurfers spend enough time as it is rigging and
unrigging and fixing and cleaning. It certainly doesn't help if you
have to spend an extra hour removing egret guano from your sail.'



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